Missed Connections Monday

A series in which I review Craigslist missed connections ads and try to… help?

Who needs handle bars? – m4w

We biked past each other right near O’Keeffe middle school and we both had our hands in our pockets. We smiled at each other and I can’t stop thinking about it! I made an account just to post this on the infinitesimal chance that you might see it. If you do, maybe we could grab a coffee and talk about how great we are at biking with no hands!?

Dear Bike Pro,

Yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes. Thank you for sharing with the world (of craigslist) just how smitten you were with your fellow velocipedist. I searched through the missed connections ads from four different cities before I found you, and I am delighted that I didn’t throw in the towel after all of that (pickings were slim today, Bike Pro, must’ve been a full moon over the weekend). Well done. As much as I love everything about this posting (and I do, I really do – from your brand new CL profile to your willingness to punctuate), I have some suggestions that I think might help if you’re really serious about your hands-free honey.

First, before putting all your chips on CL, have you considered posting to facebook? Admittedly, I’m not an avid biker–at somepoint between childhood and adulthood I became convinced that I would meet my end on a fiberglass frame and I hung up my helmet–but I know that the biking community tends to be pretty tight (there’s a glute joke in there somewhere). I would posit that you could post this on a bike-friendly community on facebook and someone might recognize your mobile mate. At the very least, you’re likely to meet at least one other woman who likes to get creative with her hands while in the saddle.

And while we’re on the subject of shared interests, I’m really hoping you’ve got more conversation topics in mind that your biking abilities. I’m no stranger to cute quips, but if you do end up sitting across from her, sipping on a latte, make sure you bring some better material. Ideas include: literally anything else.

All-in-all, I think this could work. Keep your hands in your pockets and your wheels to the wind, Bike Pro, you’ll find her! I can already see you two holding hands as you ride off into the sunset.

Spokes & Jokes,

Betty Chestnut

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